No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The ass gains better be worth it
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