based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize