The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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