i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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