I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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