I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
