Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just pynch a tree in the face
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
