I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
