Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's like heaven, but drunker
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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