I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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