So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
