i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
one might say we're banned from that church
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
