hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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