would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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