evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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