That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
