We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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