I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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