when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
