Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
