My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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