singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
