No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize