Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
