Your face is a jimmy john
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Floor bacon is actually really good
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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