We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
