omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
