Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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