it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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