is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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