maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
