It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
