My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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