Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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