K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
