Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
