i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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