Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
