it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
