i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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