they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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