they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
