I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Found your dick twin last night
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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