Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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