He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
