if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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