we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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