I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
