i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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