it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
