Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize