brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
