Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize