i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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