Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
