drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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