My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
