Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
