Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
