Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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