I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
