Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
